i have not idea

Ever have no idea how you feel? That is how I always am. I'm just confused. I don't know what to say or how to feel. Sometimes I just don't know who I am. People may say that they know who I am and understand me, but I don't believe that. How can someone understand me if I don't even understand me? I honestly have no clue what is going on around me. I do not know where to go from here. I do not know what to do with what live gives me. I do not feel like a complete person. Somethings missing. I am losing my grip on life. I use to be so confident, sure, knew where I was going and what I was doing. What happened is all I can ask. I just wish I knew who I was. The funny thing is I don't know what my favorite stuff is. You know when people ask you whats your favorite color, I really don't know I just make something up. I am lost in a crowd, standing alone, people are whizzing by going on with their lives. I have no where to go. I am just scared and alone. But I keep to myself.

&& shes scared

to get close to

A N Y O N E

because everyone

who said

"I'll be there"

left

worst day ever

To sum up everything that has happened today I got two days out of school suspension, kicked off my cheerleading team, my grandma is in the middle of a mental breakdown. Pretty much my life is ruined. My future has been screwed up. If this goes on my permanent record I might not be able to be a teacher like I wanted to be. Here's a poem to help give the littlest detail of how I feel.
Tears fill my eyes
the mistakes i have made
show up as sadness on my face
the consequences are never good
the is the worst day ever
everthing that has happened
plays like a movie in my mind
mistake after mistake
I feel sick to my stomach
the sadness just wants to leave
my heads feels as though it is going to explode
no one understandsthe pain and the feelings i have
all i can ask is what was i thinking
all i can say is why me
all i can wish is that is is a nightmare

let me introduce myself

So let me introduce myself. Ayo my names Angelica its different and I know no one else with my name and I would never change that. My name fits me. I like to be the trendsetter at my school. I don't like to wear the same thing as everyone, I like to stand out and be original. Um right now i don't really have a best friend. I have had some great ones but people change and move on. Saying that kinda seems like if they only stuck around for a while then how were they really your best friend, I can't really answer that. But I am that one person people come to for advice. Without music there would be no life. I'm into pretty much everything but mostly indie rock and relaxing music. My new obsession is Ingrid Michaelson. Also I love Andy Warhol and Audrey and Death Cab for Cutie. I have a poem that will help you understand me because I am pretty complected

I am different and odd

I wonder what will happen next

I see my future

I touch my past

I want to change

I am complected and a mess

I pretend to be brave

I feel lonely

I worry about mine and others decisions

I cry when I am hurt

I am true and scared

I understand that people change but not why

I say it how it is

I dream that people can be real instead of fake

I try to be myself

I hope my future will turn out good

I am a friend and a dreamer